A Defensive Focus 2- Rise of Baby Hatchet

Often in many a great team we praise and reward the top points scorers. In Yum Hwa's case, he proves himself worthy through his defensive work ethic. It can be described that the people who score low on the stat count are lazy, passive or unfamiliar with the game and that players with a high penalty count against them are less desirable on the pitch. Lets put this into perspective.

We are all familiar with the age-old adage of 'taking one for the team'. But do we realise that certain players step up and assume a particular role which demands giving away penalties and intimidating opponents physically at the right opportune moment. Yes, it is a contact sport when the time is right.

Disclaimer: If you're a touch judge or an official from Touch Singapore who just so happened to come across this post, look away now, forget whatever you have just read and key in Alt F4. There is no such thing as the Hatchet Man in 6ppb. As the fairest of them lot in the league, we do not condone behaviour that is deemed 'undesirable' in sport.






Hatchet Man
n. Slang A person employed to carry out controversial or disagreeable tasks.

Now that the refs backs are turned, step up and take a bow Adam Chan, our resident Hatchet Man. Chan makes Hatcheting look like a breeze. Fact is, he has become so subtle and good at it, that he has turned it into an art form-not matched by many- leaving opposition players baffled, bruised and battered whilst they take their frustration out on the poor referees. Who are left clueless due to the excellent play acting by the man himself. I have tried hatcheting myself, and I can say through experience that it is an arduous, often painful and sometimes thankless job. It is not so much the physical hurt, nor the ability to mask hacheting, rather it is the mental anguish from the guilt and dealing with the curses(from the opposition) that accompanies it. Chan on the other hand revels in Hacheting, he takes pride in what he does and rightly so, because it has helped the teams he's represented. 

(2 championships, some runners-up medals and one player of the season)

Adam Chan, seen strutting away after a seemingly 'innocuous' collision with Jeslyn from Wanderers(Monsoon)

 Baby Hatchet
You might find yourself asking the question "why risk bringing this up now?". We have a baby hatchet in our midst and his name is Elmo Cheok. Not much is known about Baby Hatchet other than the fact that he resembles a young Chan, studied in ngee ann polytechnic and probably trained under Joshua Yap. In the last round, Elmo was guilty of giving away a couple of penalties and that is totally fine since its a part of his job scope to unsettle opponents.

However if you're reading this Baby Hatchet-yup this nick sticks from now on, you would do well to heed the advice of this young writer if you learn from Hatchet Senior the art form of masking your indiscretions on the pitch. The wily veteran will also inform you that its all in the details, "less biceps equals less penalty calls". Fashion is borne first out of practicality and some referees equate show of muscle to hard touches.

Name: Elmo Cheok
Height:167-he's thereabouts with his predecessor here
Weight: 67kg
Round 1 Fantasy Points: IT team away on business will fill this up soon
Round 1 Stats: IT team away on business will fill this up soon
Playing Status: Injured (Dislocated Toe & Sprained Back)
Predicted period to Full Fitness: 1 month
On field Fashion Sense: Leaves Alot to be Desired(roll your sleeves back down)

Sleeveless Elmo running into a gap.

In slightly more serious news, Elmo had a car accident this week and has suffered a dislocated toe & sprained back. We do wish him a speedy recovery. I do wonder, how easy is it to picture someone with a name like that pulling a Vin Diesel on the ECP?

"If you can dream it, you can do it."

The first edition of "Wise Words Wednesday".

Updated Fantasy Rules and Player Lists

Attention all Prospective Fantasy^6-pack Team Managers
There has been some changes made to the rules and players list.  Seeing that this is probably the world's first fantasy touch football league, we do need to keep things simple.

RULES (updated 14-03-12)
1) Any 6 players can be picked each week.
2) You're not allowed to pick your own self.
3) Each player is given a position, i.e. Middle, Link, Wing
4) You must pick 2 Middle, 2 Link and 2 Wing from the list
5) You must pick one player as Captain from your team. Any points scored by the Captain are doubled.
 

PLAYERS (updated 14-03-12)
Adam Chan (Link)
Gideon Loh (Middle)
Elmo Cheok (Wing)
Muhdy (Middle)
Leander Yohanes (Link)
Taufiq As'ari (Middle)
David Teo (Link)
Terence Toh (Middle)
Chris Wall (Middle)
Bobby Sumantri (Wing)
Caleb Ong (Middle)
Suhaimi Mohamed (Link)
Lee Yum Hwa (Link)
Alex Lim (Wing)
Akio Lim (Wing)

Fantasy^6-pack Registration

To all 6-pack players, friends and fans,

Please indicate your interest in participating in the Fantasy^6-pack League. We would like as many participants as possible. Kindly drop me an email at t_divald@yahoo.com.

We request that you send the following information with the email by latest fri 2359, so that you have some time before the fantasy deadline which is now pushed to 2 hours before game time.

Team Name:
Manager Name:
Manager Nickname:

Full player Stats for round 1 will also be released by Friday Morning. We would like to apologise for the delay as half of the two men, fantasy IT team is away in Hong Kong on business.

Unprecedented Capture leads to murmurs of Self-Politicking

While democracy sometimes brings strange results. This week's inaugural vote has a cause to be viewed with intense suspicion. Never in the history of 6-pack, has a player managed to bag the two awards which cannot be more distinct than the other. It's similar to winning the Oscars and the Razzies for the same movie role. That folks, is an oxymoron which just does not happen.

This brings to the fore, the player in question, a Mr Chan Adam Ariff Bin Hussein. It also creates focus about an on/off field intangible, 'Influence', or in this case, dare I say it? 'Unabashed and unrighteous Influence'. Whether or not it is right or wrong, is a contentious issue, we'll leave it to you, the reader to decide.

Rewind to 2006-Chan(second from right), proving that his tales of him being thin are Non-Fiction.

Playa of the Day
Despite having the good sense to nominate both Caleb and yours truly in the Playa of the Day category, Adam Chan proceeded to nominate HIMSELF in that category. Although he made a sharp run which was reminiscent of a past Adam, 4 years and 20 pounds ago. What he should have realised, was that his efforts wouldn't have gone unrecognised by many.

 Fast Forward to 2012. Fat Chan- notice how the years hasn't been kind to his cheeks, jawline, neck and forehead.

Dick of the Day
Lets recognise the spade and call it for what it is.A Face Saving Exercise, nothing more. Chan was destined for the Dick of the Day glory due to his failure in noticing that the team was a man up in attack. Instead he chose to engage in a series of comical belly flops, whatever glint of hope left after, crushed by the unamused and certainly disinterested touch judges.

Nevertheless, we should admire his natural ability to win a popularity contest. Not everybody knows how to influence one. "Fat Runner. Outrunning 3 players whose combined weight equals his."- Yes, this is the play of the day. But it is not the actual on field action that has won him that title. Rather his off-field humourous- however shameless- influence to win an award that had it sealed. Well done Mate.

"Fat Runner. Outrunning 3 players whose combined weight equals his."-Adam Chan, when nominating himself.

*This article is purely for satirical purposes and in no way meant to be defematory. Any accusations on the writer will be considered as a Media Witchunt.

A Defensive Focus

Today, we begin with a defensive focus with the 1st article of a three part player profile review. Now, before you go saying 'boring!',-which was similar to my point of view,when the powers that be, applied pressure on the creative team to recognise, reward and encourage good play at the back-, you should realise that the article would still be a good read, purely due to stimulating writing skills of yours truly.

#Defensive Lynchpin
We would like to state that although the following personality might lack certain on field intangibles such as flair, good looks and the rational ability to differentiate between passes of 30m and 5m, he more than makes up for it with his single minded doggedness in defense, brilliant Sunday Lunches and a satirical hairstyle.

Name : Lee Yum Hwa
Weight: 68kg
Height: 170cm
Round 1 Fantasy Points: 42
Round 1 Stats: 14 runs, 16 touches, 1 Line break Create, 1 error
Fave Quotes: "In Yum We Trust", "Defence needs more work guys", "eh, how mike?"
Past Media Relations: Strained at best.
Media Backlash At Self Indulgent Keyman
Self Indulgent Keyman Cans Media-2006

Fantasy 6-pack Tip-These Numbers Don't Lie
Whilst the stalwart of the team hasn't always been scoring or creating the glamourous tries, he has 5th highest score in Round 1, leading the team in touches made and never once giving away a penalty. A logical hypothesis would be that Lee works his socks off in getting back 5 metres, cornering hard, pushing off his opponents and making excellent positive touches. Whilst the veteran is certainly not the fittest, smartest nor the most technically gifted, he does the basics really well. On the big and tight matches, where tries are a rare commodity, we expect Mr Consistent to outscore most of his teamates. He might have his critics aand it may not be an adventurous fantasy choice, but he's definitely a safe one.

Fantasy 6-pack- Win the pot!

Calling all players, fans and friends of 6-pack....
Think you've got what it takes to manage 6-pack? Well, here is your chance to prove your man-management and selection skills by picking 6 players to represent your Fantasy 6-pack Touch Football every week.

RULES
1) Any 6 players can be picked each week.
2) You're not allowed to pick your own self.
3) Each player is given a position, i.e. Middle, Link, Wing
4) You must pick 2 Middle, 2 Link and 2 Wing from the list
5) You must pick one player as Captain from your team. Any points scored by the Captain are doubled.

SCORING
Runs: 1 point
Tries: 10 points
Assists: 10 points
Linebreaks: 5 points
Linebreak create: 5 points
Try Saves: 5 points
Turnover forced: 3 points
Touches made: 1 point
Touches missed: -3 points
Errors: -2 points
Penalties conceded: -4 points
Forced sub: -2 points
Sin binned: -6 points
Red carded: -16 points

PLAYERS
Adam Chan (Link)
Gideon Loh (Middle)
Elmo Cheok (Wing)
Muhdy (Middle)
Leander Yohanes (Link)
Taufiq As'ari (Middle)
David Teo (Link)
Terence Toh (Middle)
Chris Wall (Middle)
Bobby Sumantri (Wing)
Caleb Ong (Middle)
Suhaimi Mohamed (Link)
Lee Yum Hwa (Link)
Alex Lim (Wing)
Akio Lim (Wing)

A google spreadsheet will be made available on wednesday 14th March, for prospective bosses to enter a team, view player's stats and scores.


Round 1 Dream Team Total Score: 297

The top scorers for each round will qualify for the weekly dream team. The top fantasy team will also be highlighted in a Weekly Fantasy Digest. Weekly Reviews and Predictions will be published by Friday Mornings in order to ease your selection woes.

And We're Back!

Squad for STL 2012
1. Leander(c)
2. Lim Kar Ee
3. Terence Toh
4. Caleb Ong
5. Elmo Cheok
6. Suhaimi
7. Muhdy
8. Yum Hwa (s)
9. Bobby Sumantri
10. Chris Wall
11. Adam Chan
12. Akio Lim
13. Taufiq
14. Alex Lim
15. Gideon Loh
16. David Teo