Round 3 Match:
Score: 8-0
With today’s matchup against the Baddies, 6-packs came with a cocky attitude with their usual nonchalant air that couldn’t be bothered by these sets of unknowns in the touch community. However, according to a last minute tip by our spies from the 6 Packs Times, Baddies were actually a bunch of seasoned campaigners from the world of contact rugby. With their bad ass attitude, the Baddies sauntered onto the pitch singing “Bad boys, bad boys whacha gonna do whacha gonna do when they come for you”. In response to that, 6 packs came off with their own version of the Hakka with Kevin ‘Roids’ Loo ranting “Si mi Bad Boy! Buay song ah, ni na bu ah”, (Hokkien roughly translated: Oh blimey! Why would they term themselves as Bad Boys! I do doubt that they are a jolly bunch, oh well, bless their mothers). With the pre-match formalities pushed aside, the match began proper.
After 10 minutes into the game, due to the stifling physical playing style of the Baddies, 6 packs were unable to make any inroads and seemingly getting increasingly frustrated. With the hard touches and deliberate attempts to kill the ruck, Baddies were doing a good job of breaking down the free flowing style of play that has came to be known in the touch circles as “the 6 pack styling”. Even Gideon ‘The Legend’ Loh wasn’t living up to his tag as “the most electrifying man in touch rugby” as he appeared to be having a rare off day hence the team was robbed of their most potent weapon. Towards the end of the first half, 6 packs managed to sneak in 2 tries due to the brilliant hip hop bunnies bros of RP, Taufiq and Terrance.
As Alan ‘Where the f*ck is Wigan’ Lowton, brought in the players during the half time break, he attempted to do his best Mel Gibson ala Braveheart impersonation; “Aye Laddies, you’re playing like a bunch of lassies, aye the English are robbing us of our freedom of play but I say they may take our lassies but they will never take away our freedom!!!”. To which came the resounding response from Adam “Apa ini?” (Translated: what the f#ck are you taking about?). To which the Wigan heaved a sigh and said “ok The Legend, please take over”. The Legend Says “ok gentlemen, right now we are playing a 4-2-3-1 formation but its proving a little too defensive, we are gonna change our approach to an attacking 1-3-2-4 instead and”, to which The Legend was rudely interrupted by the screaming of Yum ‘Gollum’ Hwa “but how are we gonna find my precioussss?? I need my precioussss, my love, where is my precious weight vest?? My Preciousssssss”. To which Kenny ‘Chitty bang bang’ laid the smackdown on our team retard and proceed to serve up a can of whoop ass to The Dumb One for rudely interrupting The Great One. The Legend says “Thank you Kenny, ok right now we are relaxed in our own half when we get possession of the ball and anxious in the opponent half, it should be the other way around and we should be anxious to drive the ball out of our own half and relaxed on the opponent tryline.” Enlightened by the simple logic that the attack has to gain momentum before trying to score instead of trying to side step with every possession, the team took the field ready to unleash our secret weapon.
6 Packian Times: So Adam, what did you think of today’s game and the score line?
Adam: what what… I swear its only lunch, dinner, supper and sometimes breakfast with Sheema, i swear its nothing else… I swear!!!
6 Packian Times: erm never mind, so how about the Sri Lankan Tiger, Sujan- what did you think of todays game?
Sujan: Firstly I like to state that I am NOT here illegally, I did NOT take a boat to Thailand and from there caught a bus to JB and swam from there to over here… did NOT. But anyways, I thought that our boys didn’t play up to our usual high standards and we should have done much better especially in the first half
6 Packian Times: Thank you Sujan and I suggest you start walking away as I saw some cops approaching… and who might this fella be??
Chao Yang/Bilok/Shadow/Shadowfaux: Urgh ai td 3ik ddwj wd aedwid yidiwdnd qszons swqnisq mnqw jnw qons (Roughly translated: I like to sit in my cage and rub rub rub all day long)
Edmund: Oh damn it, its my turn to put him back in the cage, here boy there is gonna be a copy of “Jamie Oliver- finally getting naked with hip hop hunnies” episode if you go back to your cage….
6 Packian Times: WTF!! Why is this moron hugging my leg and humping it!!
Edmund: Oh sorry Sir, please forgive him, hes special
As Edmund proceed to take out the cane to beat Bilok and to drag him by his collar back to his cage, the reporter could hear distant cries from Bilok going “yay finally I get to rub rub rub again, very niace, SK2 miracle water I like!!”
Man of the Match: Edmund Kwang for managing to put Yum Hwa back into his cage
Dick of the Day: Gideon "The Legend" Loh for not being able to remember a single thing about this match and thus resorting to writing utter crap
