Tuesday, March 27, 2012

BREAKING NEWS: Chu linked to allegations of corruption!



This just in... Chupachups Manager, Eunice Chu, is believed to have been requested by the authorities to assist in their investigations regarding certain comments she made last night. It is believed that her alleged comments are linked to the upcoming match between league favourites, 6-Pack and Brotown Morningside. Two other managers have also been implicated in this case, Juriani (Sugarush) and Jazreel (TeamDream, also known affectionately as JizzonJazz).

The issue seems to stem from their willingness to resort to bribing their players with promises of choice hydration only reserved for elite athletes. The highly prized isotonic beverage, 100plus, was even put up as a reward to ensure the players performed favourably for the managers in question. Sources have also revealed that the players implicated in this case are David Teo and Caleb Ong.


Figures in a flash:
1) David Teo, was offered a grand sum of 1 can of 100plus by Jazreel to perform better. In return, Teo, who is also part of the Fantasy Stats crew, offered to award 60 points to Jazreel.

David Teo, in another compromising situation with Talentoe's manager.


2) Caleb Ong, was offered limitless quantities of water by manager Juriani to ensure another stellar performance in Round 4.
Caleb Ong performs tricks for water while onlookers recoil in horror

These under-the-table dealings have forced many observers to wonder aloud:
- How is it that these 2 players are damn cheap?
- If they're already so cheap, can I 'purchase' Terence just by offering him an empty can of Coke?
- Would Bobby have to bribe the managers to pick him?


It is unfortunate that the state of the fantasy league has fallen to such depths that even a top fantasy pick like Caleb Ong could be easily bought by promises of water, which is actually supplied free of charge, every Saturday. All of this would have gone undetected if not for that one comment by Chu which started it all. In the event that Saturday's game results in an unusually high scores for both Caleb and David, it is a guarantee that they would be charged accordingly in the Court of Justice Chan at the end of the season.

2 comments:

Caleb said...

what!? so if i perform well this saturday. i'll get charged!? HAHAHA absurd! i call for a counter charge on adam 'justice' chan for discouraging good play!

DaVid said...

Dear Adam Chan,

Your insuinations that I might be corrupted by a can of 100 plus is baseless as it is a gift from my good friend, Jazreel, and the 60pts mentioned could mean anything in that context. I do hope that you have conclusive proof. If not, you have till 2359hrs this Friday to retract your article and provide a full page apology to yours truly. Failure to do so will result in a defamatory suit.

Yours truly
David Teo
Supreme Justice